Whether it’s convincing your board of directors to fund a new project or getting your child to put on their shoes for school, persuasion is an indispensable skill in our daily lives.
Traditionally, it has been thought that persuasive people are born with innate talent, an imposing presence, or unattainable charisma. However, after years of working on leadership and management skills, I’m certain that the ability to convince others doesn’t depend on physical attractiveness or extroversion, but rather on the DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
The qualities that truly matter in connection with others are not theoretical intelligence or natural charm, but sincerity, transparency, and empathy. People who master this social aspect not only create better rapport but also achieve significantly better results.
Throughout my career, I’ve summarized the behavior of exceptionally persuasive people into 10 key habits:
- THEY KNOW WHEN TO GIVE GROUND TO WIN: They don’t try to win every small battle if it means losing the war. They prefer to be effective rather than right at all costs. Giving ground at the right moment is the best way to build long-term trust.
- THEY COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY, WITHOUT AGGRESSION OR INSECURITY: They avoid both being overbearing and adopting fearful stances. They don’t ask for “permission” or “excuse me” to give their opinion, they eliminate filler words of doubt, and they present their arguments with firmness, composure, and clear data.
- THEY KNOW AND ADAPT THEIR DISCOURSE TO THEIR AUDIENCE: They modulate their tone, energy, and language depending on the person they are speaking to. They know that you don’t speak to an analytical person in the same way as you would to an executive or an introvert.
- THEY MASTER THE ART OF STORYTELLING: They understand that data informs, but only stories transform. They use powerful narratives to evoke emotions, generate memorable mental images, and ensure that the message is not only understood but also felt.
- THEY MASTER NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION AND A GENUINE SMILE: Their body language conveys openness: direct eye contact, approachable posture, and an enthusiastic tone. Furthermore, a sincere smile predisposes the other person to active and empathetic listening.
- THEY RECOGNIZE AND VALIDATE THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW: They gracefully acknowledge the limitations of their own arguments and validate the other people with phrases like, “I completely understand your position.” This immediately reduces any defensiveness.
- THEY ASK GOOD QUESTIONS AND TRULY LISTEN: Active listening is demonstrated by asking questions. Raising clarifying questions shows a genuine interest in the other person’s needs and reinforces mutual respect.
- THEY CONNECT ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AND CALL THE OTHER PERSON BY NAME: They understand that behind every decision there is a person. Using proper names naturally and building a brief human connection beforehand dramatically increases the chances of reaching an agreement.
- THEY ARE AUTHENTIC AND TRANSPARENT: Pretense is instantly detectable. Persuasive people are comfortable in their own skin, accepting their strengths and vulnerabilities, which conveys solid credibility.
- THEY KNOW HOW TO GIVE SPACE AND DON’T RUSH THINGS: Haste is the enemy of persuasion. If you pressure for an immediate “yes,” the other party will dig in their heels. If your proposal is solid, give them time to consider it without rushing.
Well, now you have 10 habits that will significantly boost your persuasion skills. And remember:
“To persuade is not to overcome the other person’s resistance, but to illuminate the path so that we can both walk together toward the same horizon.”
La entrada The 10 habits of highly persuasive people se publicó primero en Xavi Roca.