Have you ever tried to share something important, only for someone to steer the focus back to themselves?
People who always make everything about them often display traits like self-centeredness, a craving for validation, and difficulty understanding others’ feelings.
These traits reveal why they behave the way they do—and how it impacts those around them.
In this article, we’ll explore these tell-tale signs. Stick around if you’re curious about what makes these people tick.
1) A constant need for validation
Psychologists often identify a deep-seated need for validation as a key trait in people who always make everything about themselves.
This need is so powerful that it can dictate their behavior in social settings, as they constantly seek compliments, or steer every conversation back to their own achievements and experiences.
Consider this. It’s akin to that friend who always turns the conversation around to talk about their latest accomplishments, or the colleague who manages to bring every discussion back to their own projects.
This incessant need for validation often stems from low self-esteem or insecurities.
By making everything about themselves, these individuals are constantly seeking affirmation from others to feel good about themselves.
Understanding this trait can help us better navigate our interactions with such individuals, and maybe even offer them the support they might need.
In essence, if you’re dealing with someone who always seems to turn the spotlight on themselves, remember that it might be more about their need for validation than pure self-centeredness.
2) Struggle with empathy
Another trait I’ve often noticed in people who consistently make everything about themselves is their struggle with empathy.
Let me share a personal example. I once had a friend, let’s call her Lisa. We used to hang out a lot, but I started noticing that Lisa had a habit of turning every conversation about my life into a conversation about hers.
One day, I had been through a particularly rough time and was sharing my feelings with her.
Instead of offering comfort or understanding, Lisa immediately started talking about a similar (or worse) experience she had gone through.
It felt as though my feelings were being sidelined, and the conversation became all about her troubles instead.
This lack of empathy, according to psychologists, is quite common in those who always make things about themselves.
They struggle to truly understand and engage with the feelings and perspectives of others because they’re so engrossed in their own experiences.
3) Dominating conversations
People who constantly make everything about themselves also have a tendency to dominate conversations. Their stories, their opinions, their experiences – these tend to take center stage, often at the expense of others.
This trait has been studied extensively in the field of psychology.
Research reveals that these individuals often perceive conversations as a platform to impress or outdo others rather than a give-and-take interaction.
They frequently interrupt or talk over people to ensure their voice is the loudest and most heard.
In a group setting, they might overtake the conversation, making it difficult for others to share or contribute their thoughts. This can lead to feelings of frustration and exclusion among those on the receiving end.
4) Competitive nature
Ever noticed a person who turns every situation into a competition? If so, it’s another trait commonly found in those who always make everything about themselves.
These individuals often view life through a competitive lens. Everything, from personal achievements to everyday activities, becomes a race that they must win.
This can manifest in different ways, like always trying to outdo others’ stories or constantly striving to be the best in every situation.
While healthy competition can drive personal growth and innovation, an extreme competitive nature can strain relationships.
It can create an environment where collaboration and mutual support take a backseat to individual success.
So next time you encounter someone who seems overly competitive, remember that this could be a sign of their tendency to make everything about themselves.
5) Difficulty accepting criticism
Another interesting characteristic of people who always make everything about themselves is their difficulty handling criticism, constructive or otherwise.
These individuals often view criticism as a direct attack on their self-worth. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth or improvement, they might become defensive or dismissive.
This reaction can be particularly challenging in a professional environment, where feedback is an integral part of personal development and team progress.
It can hinder their ability to grow and adapt, and it can also strain relationships with colleagues or superiors who provide the feedback.
6) A deep sense of insecurity
Beneath the surface bravado of those who always make everything about themselves often lies a profound sense of insecurity.
These individuals might appear confident, even arrogant at times, as they constantly place themselves at the center of attention. But often, this is a protective facade masking their inner insecurities.
Psychologists suggest that this behavior can be a cry for help, an attempt to seek affirmation and validation from others.
They feel that by making everything about them, they can somehow mask their insecurities or fears.
This understanding should inspire empathy in us. Interacting with such individuals might be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that their actions often stem from their inner struggles.
Often, a little compassion and understanding can go a long way.
Supporting them while encouraging them to seek professional help if necessary can make a significant difference in their lives and the lives of those around them.
7) Sensitivity to perceived slights
This is a trait I’ve personally dealt with, and it’s not an easy one. People who tend to make everything about themselves are often hypersensitive to perceived slights or offences.
For instance, if they’re not included in a decision or overlooked in a conversation, they might see it as a personal affront. They react by withdrawing, sulking, or even lashing out.
I remember a time when a friend of mine wasn’t invited to an outing simply because it was a last-minute plan and we thought she was busy. She took it personally and felt excluded, even though that wasn’t the intention.
This hypersensitivity often stems from their self-centered perspective. They view situations from their viewpoint, often missing the broader context or the perspectives of others.
8) Generosity can be a sign too
Surprisingly, extreme generosity can also be a trait of those who always make everything about themselves. This might seem contradictory at first, but let’s delve a little deeper.
Some people are naturally generous and love to help others. However, for those who constantly make everything about themselves, their generosity often comes with strings attached.
They might use their acts of kindness as a way to garner attention and praise, or even to hold it over others in the future.
Their giving becomes more about how it makes them look or feel rather than genuinely wanting to help the other person.
9) Craving for constant attention
A craving for constant attention is another common trait in people who always make everything about themselves.
These individuals often go to great lengths to ensure they’re the center of attention. This can range from speaking the loudest in a group, telling extravagant stories, or even behaving dramatically to draw attention.
Their need for attention can stem from various factors, such as low self-esteem, a need for validation, or a fear of being overlooked or ignored.
While everyone enjoys being the center of attention now and then, an intense and constant need for it can be exhausting for those around them.
It’s important to approach such situations with empathy and understanding, but also to set healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being.
10) Lack of self-awareness
Perhaps the most significant trait common to people who always make everything about themselves is a lack of self-awareness.
This lack of understanding of their own behavior and its impact on others can lead to a cycle of self-centered actions.
They often don’t realize that they’re monopolizing conversations, dismissing others’ feelings, or constantly seeking attention.
Self-awareness is crucial to personal growth and healthy social interactions.
Without it, people continue to act in ways that are self-serving, and in the process, strain their relationships with those around them.