Do you feel like you’re doing a lot of work, but have little to show for it? Do you feel long overdue for that elusive job promotion or pay raise? Have you struggled to make as much progress as you would have liked with that side project?
A lot of people struggle to make progress as quickly as they would like in their careers. You can easily become fixated on what you have not yet achieved and forget to acknowledge all the things you have achieved. Taking the time to do this is not only important for practical purposes like capturing your accomplishments on your LinkedIn profile or resume, but also for emotional reasons so you can feel accomplished and motivated during your career journey.
Many of the professionals I cross paths with are high achievers who tend to be critical of themselves. In many ways, this approach helps them push themselves to be better, more effective, and more accomplished.
However, focusing on things in your career that haven’t gone your way rather than those things that have can also take a toll on your confidence. I consistently hear from clients and podcast guests looking back on their careers that they wish they hadn’t been so hard on themselves. They wish they had given themselves more credit for their successes.
Acknowledgment Makes A Positive Difference
When I first became a manager myself, one of the very first pieces of advice I got about how to be an effective manager was to make sure I took the time to acknowledge the people on my team. Simply saying thank you and verbally acknowledging someone’s work, contributions, efforts, or accomplishments can be the single most powerful way to keep that person engaged, satisfied, and motivated on a team. More motivating than money, more motivating than corporate perks, and more motivating than any other type of external reward.
In fact, according to Gallup’s 2024 Human-Centered Workplace report, employees who receive recognition are five times as likely to be engaged at work, 45% less likely to leave, and 47% less likely to be job hunting. So we know that showing appreciation for others can make a positive difference. Just telling someone they’ve done a good job or taking the time to say thank you can improve morale.
The question is, when was the last time you acknowledged your own accomplishments?
Feeling Unappreciated Is Demotivating
Not getting the kind of appreciation or acknowledgment you feel you deserve for all that you do can be demoralizing. The number one complaint I hear from clients thinking about a career change is about not feeling energized by their work, either because they’re misplaced or they’re just not making the most of who they are.
The second most common complaint I hear is feeling underappreciated and overlooked. Being overlooked by others can dampen your motivation, engagement, and morale. However, while other people can have a big impact on how you feel about yourself, one more person who has as big, if not a bigger impact, on how you’re feeling is you.
What You Say To Yourself Matters
I have a lot of internal self-dialogue with myself throughout the day, more so now that I’m self-employed compared to my days as a full-time employee at a company. I certainly spend more time on my own now compared to my corporate office days.
Over the years, I’ve realized my own internal dialogue can have a profound impact on my emotions, motivation, and drive. I don’t think of myself as an insecure person per se, but I’ll admit, I am at times. I’m always thinking about things like how I could squeeze more into my day or whether I’m doing as much for my clients as I can.
I also ruminate over everything else in my life outside of work. Whether I’m being the best husband. Whether I’m spending as much quality time as I can with my daughter without dropping the ball at work. Whether I’m doing enough for my mother whose 80 thbirthday is around the corner. Whether I’m investing enough time into exercising to stay fit and healthy. There’s typically a lot going on in my head!
How often do you find yourself in a similar loop? What kind of self-talk do you engage in with yourself? What impact do you feel it’s having on your own psychology and well-being?
Balance Self-Improvement and Self-Acknowledgement
Continuous improvement and optimization can be helpful. Pushing yourself is perhaps how you’ve made good things happen in your career and life. On the one hand, this philosophy of ongoing self-improvement will help you create more opportunities for yourself. However, always wondering whether you can do more also means you may result in you always feeling you’re not doing enough or falling short.
Since those early days in the corporate world, I’ve done my best to stick with the habit of acknowledging others I work with. However, I often catch myself not acknowledging my work or not giving myself enough credit for what I have accomplished. It’s funny how we’re sometimes so much harder on ourselves than we are on others. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else.
So something I’m trying to do right now is to cut myself some slack. And I’m also trying to take it a step further by making a point to give myself some credit. To remind myself just how much I am doing. How much I’m balancing between client relations, speaking engagements, fatherhood, and trying to be there for all the people who matter to me in my life.
I don’t think anyone should completely drop the idea of pushing themselves to do more or to be self-critical because that’s how you grow. However, you should also periodically take a moment to give yourself some credit for all the things you’re balancing, and perhaps even permission to let a few things slide.
When was the last time you took stock of all the things you’ve managed to do recently? Take a moment to capture this on paper to acknowledge to yourself how much you’re juggling.
Reflect and Celebrate Your Journey
Focusing on failures, mishaps, or stumbles is something many of us tend to do. If you find yourself doing the same, I’d like to challenge you to focus on all the things you have done rather than those you haven’t. Consider all the balls you have not dropped, all the people who have helped, all the progress you have made with your work, and most importantly, all those personal and professional relationships you’ve continued to nurture and strengthen in whatever way you’re able to with the time you have.
Maybe you haven’t done these things as well or as perfectly as you would have liked. But with everything you have going on, you deserve to give yourself some credit for what you have managed to accomplish so you can stay engaged and energized throughout the twists and turns of your career.
Originally published at Forbes.