“You’re the best female leader I’ve ever worked with,” he said.
It was meant as a compliment. But it taught me one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned about leadership.
Almost twenty-four years ago, on my final day as a VP in a large multinational – before leaving the corporate world to start my own company – a fellow VP walked into my office.
This colleague had always been rather combative with me, often challenging me openly in meetings.
That day, however, he slumped into the chair across from my desk and said:
“Brenda, I hate to admit it, but I’m going to miss you. You are the best female leader I’ve ever worked with.”
I could tell he meant it sincerely, so I thanked him politely.
But his comment stayed with me.
Because in that moment, I realized something important:
He saw me first as a woman.
Second as a leader.
And yet the truth is this:
➡️ Leadership has no gender. Good leadership is good leadership.
But our *perspectives* of leadership often carry gender – shaped by how we are wired and the experiences we bring to the table.
I shared this story last week while speaking on an International Womens Day panel at GIC in Singapore.
It was a privilege to join Edmund Lin (Chairman of Bain & Company Southeast Asia) and Professor Roy Chua (SMU) for this important conversation. I shared stories and case studies from my years of coaching executives, while Ed offered practical perspectives on designing organizations that truly support and elevate women, and Professor Chua shared fascinating research on unconscious bias and its impact in the workplace.
I was very pleased to see the audience was a *50/50 mix of women and men* – exactly the kind of balance that helps move conversations like this forward.
Thank you to the GIC moderators and organizers – Eric Wilmes, Jennifer Hsiao, Jasmine Loo, and June Long – for the invitation, the excellent moderation, and for creating space for such a thoughtful dialogue.
Important conversations like these help all of us expand what leadership looks like.